Clay: This is Clay Stairs, podcast number one. “Numero Uno”, for those Spanish-speaking students in the group. The big question here is where do you want to grow? What kind of a question is that? “What do you mean where do I want to grow? I don’t have time to think about where I want to grow. All I have time to do is think about, how to survive, how to live, how to get through today. Clay, you don’t understand the pressures that are on me. I’ve got to get the money so that we can pay the bills because I got the kid, I got that wife, I got the husband. I have so many responsibilities, but I feel like my responsibilities are greater than my capacity.
This whole idea of, “Where do I want to grow?”, that is just frustrating because I don’t have time to grow. All I have time for is to get up and survive. Get up and work through the day. Hopefully, the day will go well. Most of the time it doesn’t, but I just deal with it and keep pushing on, day after day after day. I’ve been doing this for a long time and this question of, “Where do I want to grow?”
I want to grow in multiple areas. I want to grow financially. I want to grow with my social relationships with my friends. I want to grow in my relationship with my spouse, my wife, my husband. Clay, I want to grow in how I’m relating to my children. My kids are growing up right underneath me and I’m missing out on their life because I’m busy doing things even when I’m busy with them I’m still busy. I don’t have time to intentionally spend with them. I don’t like that anymore.
I also want to grow personally. I want to grow in my job. I want to grow in influence in my community. You asked me where I want to grow? My Gosh. I want to grow everywhere, but I don’t know how. I don’t have time. I don’t know how to get out of the path that I’m on right now. I’m stuck. I know that there is more in me than I have accessed so far. I know that, but I don’t know how to mine it. I don’t know how to get it out of me.
Unfortunately, I’ve just put myself in a spot where I’ve got to get up at a certain time. I’ve got to be at certain places at certain times. I have to do certain things in a certain amount of time for other people. And unfortunately, I find myself getting further and further and further behind of where I want to be.
You asked me where do I want to grow? I want to grow. I, in all areas, in all facets of my life I want to grow. I feel like I have been designed to grow. I feel like I’ve been destined to grow, but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to do it. It’s frustrating and it’s been frustrating for a long time. Because of that, I just don’t ask myself that question anymore. I’m just figuring out how to live where I am.”
This is a conversation I have so often with so many people across the United States. It doesn’t take long at all to tap into this just underneath the surface with other people of where they are, this quiet desperation as we’ve heard before. So many people living lives of quiet desperation. So many people living lives with the song, or coming to the end of their life with the song still in them that was never sung.
I have this conversation every single day, whether it be with entrepreneurs that have started a company and have been going for five to 15 years and they’re successful, but all of a sudden their success has begun crushing them. The time responsibilities, the money responsibilities, the people responsibilities, the management responsibilities, all the responsibilities have increased in their company. The one thing that hasn’t increased is their capacity. Business Speaker Tulsa
I also have this conversation all the time with managers that are in businesses that are in a position of managing multiple people, multiple departments, but unfortunately they can’t get the people to do what they want them to do. They’re stuck. They continue to point the fingers. If I just had great employees, I’d be able to get something done. But unfortunately, they haven’t understood like so many of us, like me for years, never understood that your life gets better when you get better. Your life begins to grow when you grow. Business Speaker Tulsa
I also spend a lot of time with people just on the executive level in this place of personal development. “I know that my life is expanding. I have more responsibilities. I want to personally learn how to do leadership. I want to personally learn how to do communication. I want to learn how to get beyond all of my issues, all of my crud, all my crap. How do I get beyond all this stuff? I don’t like where I am. How do I get beyond? How do I personally get beyond where I am?” Business Speaker Tulsa
I get to spend time all the time talking to people about this topic. How do I grow? I feel like my life has been a blueprint. Obviously, I’ve had to go through a lot of struggle, a lot of difficulty, as my life became a blueprint for growth. I don’t know that I ever set out early on. I don’t remember ever setting out saying, “I’m going to be a blueprint for growth”. I thought I’d already arrived. I thought I already knew. I really thought I already had it.
But unfortunately, at about 25 years old, the wheels came off of my life. And it’s for the very first time up to that point I was in a place where I did not want to be. I was in a place where I did not have the talent to move forward. I was in a place where my gift, my natural personality, and my natural gifts were no longer enough to get me where I wanted to be. I was in a spot where I was going to have to learn. I was going to have to figure out how to grow, how to get to the next point.
Up until this point in my life, things had come pretty natural. Things had come fairly simple to me. If I wanted to do something, I did it. I had the personality. I had a level of skill. I had a level of talent that I was able to achieve the things that I wanted to achieve. But unfortunately, along that path I relied on my natural giftings. I relied on things that were free to me, and I never learned how to pay the price for growth.
My path began at 25 years old. Spent the next 13 years learning what that path look like. Led through a lot of confusion, a lot of desperation, a lot of frustration. It wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t all dark, but it definitely had a lot of shadows in it. But through this time of learning the process, learning the path of growth, I was able to learn the steps. I was able to learn the ebb and flow of growth. I was able to learn the pace of growth. I was able to learn the emotions of growth, the hurdles, the barriers, the setbacks of growth. Whether that growth be in my personal life, whether that growth be in my business speaker Tulsa life, whether that growth be in my spiritual life, I learned the path of growth.
Now I get to spend my days, which is more fulfilling than anything that I have ever experienced. I get to spend my days every day with other people helping them as they push off from the dock, as they launch into their journey of growth. Many times I’m standing right there on the dock with them as they look at their boat. Do I even want to get into that boat of growth? Do I even want to take those steps? Because I stay here, at least it’s familiar. At least I know what tomorrow is going to be like. Even if I don’t like it, it’s familiar, and it’s comfortable.
I’ve spent a lot of time with whether it be just individuals, whether it be executives, whether it be managers, or whether it be business speaker Tulsa owners and entrepreneurs, standing on that dock deciding, “Do I want to get in this boat?” Then once we get in its we push away. As we push away, we begin to learn to sail. We begin to learn how to weather the storms. We begin to learn how to bring other people onto the boat and become a place of safety, a place of security, a place of future for other people. Developing and designing and sailing that boat, that leads to fulfillment, that leads to joy, that leads to a purposeful life. Business Speaker Tulsa
This is how I get to spend my days each day. I want to encourage you to make that decision. If you find yourself sitting there on the dock, if that metaphor makes sense to you, standing on the dock looking at the opportunity, looking at the desire, “I want to grow,” there’s a vehicle for you. There is a journey. There is a plan. There is a purpose. There is a future for you, but it requires getting off of the dock. If you’re in this place where you’re stuck on the dock and don’t know how to get in the boat you need to contact me. You need to get in touch with me “Clay I want to grow help me grow”.
If you’re in the boat, if you’ve made that leap and you’ve gotten into the boat and you got away from the dock a little bit but all of a sudden, “Oh no, what have I done?” you’re finding yourself in a place of, “I don’t know how to navigate this boat, I don’t know how to row this boat. I don’t know how to sail this boat,” you need to get in touch with me. I can help you learn those skills. I can help you develop those talents.
If you’ve been in the boat for a long time and you’ve been through certain storms, but you’re in uncharted territory now, you’re at a place in your life where you need to transfer from a small boat to a larger boat, and you’re in a time, you know that you have come into a season of transition, you need to get in touch with me. Let’s work together. Let’s walk together as we make this transition in your personal growth.
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Clay Staires